“A woman who was just dumped needs a shoulder to cry on, not a critic -- ‘It’s not your fault’, ‘He just wasn’t the right guy for you’ -- a friend who can say this”, says June, in my favorite Korean movie Seducing Mr. Perfect. Life is never smooth and when the enraged waves smash against you, we need someone to fall back on – parents, friends, pets or teachers – whose company gives a sense of assurance that we are not alone and this is not the end. And their presence fuels us with enough energy to move on or continue what we love.
It was my 12thstandard board exams. Language papers are over giving us minimal trouble and then comes the turn of the terrible three – Physics, Chemistry and Biology – of which the first one gives me nightmares. There is a two days gap which I plan to devote to revisions and also to practice the question papers of previous years. Sitting on my usual spot on the staircase I started with the last years question and finished those within fifteen minutes. Woo!!! I was able to answer TWO QUESTIONS!!!
Sometimes we desire for the blessings of a coma, to sleep and escape without any qualms. I just wanted to die but that is not so. I will be eighteen soon (I reminded myself) and being an adult I am supposed to face situation in a matured way and most importantly -- no more tears. Easy to say, my eyes were already brimming, asking for the floodgates to be opened and I didn’t know what to do. My brain is swept clean and there is no sign of those twisting formulas which I have shelved with lots of hard work. And I have two days . . . only.
As usual my siblings have spied on my sad pledge and I ran to the usual refuge, Mom. Will I ever be old enough not to depend on her? I don’t know and I don’t want to be. The cozy kitchen with its familiar smells never fails to give me the confidence I need. She was wise enough to grasp my state of mind and kindly asked me to start over and that is what I did. Soon the little kitchen table got filled with my text books and notes and I began reading aloud to this silent listener. Mom took a leave from work and sat there with me patiently, listening and gently correcting when needed. And on entering the exam hall with her blessings and best wishes, I knew I will pass and I did . . . with distinction.
It’s been years now and I have crossed bigger hurdles, but I could never forget that day when my life stopped almost and I needed hope and support of a firm ground. And I could never completely thank my Mom for being there with me always.
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